The Three Kicks

 A city lawyer decided to spend the weekend duck hunting in the countryside. After taking aim and firing, he successfully shot a duck. The bird fell into a field belonging to a local farmer.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence to retrieve his prize, the farmer approached on his tractor, stopping nearby. “What do you think you’re doing on my land?” the farmer asked.

The lawyer replied confidently, “I shot this duck, and I’m here to collect it.”

The farmer crossed his arms and said firmly, “That’s my field, so the duck belongs to me.”

The lawyer smirked. “Listen, old man, I’m a top lawyer in the city. If you don’t let me take that duck, I’ll sue you for everything you’ve got.”

The farmer, unfazed, gave a casual shrug. “Well, out here, we don’t bother with courts. We settle things with something we call ‘The Three Kicks.’”

Curious and feeling sure of himself, the lawyer asked, “What’s ‘The Three Kicks?’”

The farmer explained, “Simple. I kick you three times, then you kick me three times. We keep going until one of us gives up.”

The lawyer, confident he could handle the older man, agreed. “Alright, let’s do this.”

The farmer climbed down from his tractor, walked up to the lawyer, and delivered a sharp kick to his shin. The lawyer yelped in pain and grabbed his leg. The farmer followed with a brutal kick to his stomach, sending the lawyer to his knees. For the final kick, the farmer landed a hard blow to the lawyer’s shoulder, knocking him flat on his back.

Groaning and gasping for air, the lawyer slowly pulled himself to his feet. Dusting himself off, he glared at the farmer. “Alright, old man, now it’s my turn!”

The farmer gave him a wide grin and said, “Nah, you can have the duck.”.

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